Wednesday, December 6, 2023
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Mysterious family of Bigfoot spotted in downtown Rochester

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The Rochester Police Department has received several reports of Bigfoot sightings in the downtown area. Fearing possible attacks, concerned citizens and business owners remain vigilant.

Todd Radict, owner of Skeletone Records, reports that he saw Bigfoot browsing the AC/DC section of his store. Unfortunately, no other witnesses were on site to back up Radict’s claims.

“He was at least 7 feet tall,” said Radict. “I tried to get a picture but he was gone before I had a chance!”

Radict suspects there are several other Sasquatch inhabiting the downtown. Whether or not they are friendly remains unknown. 

Officer Brandon Kimbrough, Rochester’s new Community Engagement Officer, is encouraging residents to stay calm and keep their distance.

“We never thought we’d see anything like this in downtown Rochester,” said Kimbrough. “Until we make contact, we want everyone to stay safe. Our department will do everything we can to protect life and property.”

Volunteers with Rochester Main Street have taken the issue seriously. Board representative Matt Wyatt says the organization created a website to document Bigfoot sightings and track their whereabouts.

“We created a website for residents to utilize when tracking Bigfoot,” said Wyatt. “It’s our hope that people will find them, photograph them, and help Rochester Main Street prove they exist once and for all.”

Rochester Main Street is going so far as to offer prizes for anyone brave enough to locate them all. 

“We believe they’re everywhere,” Wyatt continued. “We need your help to locate and document them. Rochester Main Street is raffling off gift cards to any downtown business of your choice, if you’re lucky enough to be selected.”

For more information, to report a sighting, or to start tracking Bigfoot, visit www.rochestermainstreet.org/bigfoot. 

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